old year

last year had mixed reviews.

I've had many say it was the best of their lives and many say it was the worst.

Work-wise, it was a great year - we had a lot of amazing weddings, met a ton of amazing people which created for a lot of amazing adventures : )

Personally - it was rough.  Not a year I would choose to do over again.

If you've read my blog previously, you'll know what I'm talking about.  If not - maybe tune in to a post I wrote back in September about Christmas.

Thanksgiving went well - but Christmas was much harder.  I guess it was far enough away from the miscarriage that I was able to appear 'okay' enough to not concern anyone.

But the truth is - I wasn't.

For the sake of not going into too many details - I just want everyone who reads this to know that anyone you know that has had a miscarriage never just "gets over" it.  Especially their first Christmas not being pregnant.  Their due date.  Mother's Day.

And even though it may feel awkward for you to ask how someone is doing - it's far for painful for the ones going through the situation to feel uncared for.

So please.

Just ask.

And if it's you who's dealing with the grief - please don't hesitate to write or call - it's never something you should have to go through alone.

This Christmas also marked what would have been sweet Jairus Hintz's first birthday. And on Sunday, Jairus' daddy, Mark, spoke at our church about grief and what the last 12 months have been like for Meg, Mark and their kiddos.

Meg has been such a blessing to me in these last few months since the miscarriage. She is the strongest woman I have ever met.  Her faith has been tested in the hottest of fires, darkest of corners and dreariest of days; yet she still believes in a God who loves us and in our deepest, darkest places He weeps with us, because He knows the pain of the ultimate sacrifice.  He knows the pain of loosing a son - He did this so that we might live.

Pain sucks.  Emotional.  Physical.  Spiritual.  Mental.

We all know someone who is dealing with some form of pain.  And please - for their sake.  Ask them how they're really doing.  Not in a 'passing by' sort of way. In a true, meaningful way.  Just know that even if it may be awkward for you - know it's even harder on them if you don't ask. Even if it's 5 years after the fact.

This year?  I trusting that we can handle it - whatever it may bring.  Here's to 2012 - a year where Dan and I celebrate five years of marriage : )